As small business owners, most of us go to network meetings of some sort. BNI, Rotary, your industry association, the local SME network, whatever it is, with the idea that we will make connections with people who may, at some point be useful to us, and to whom we may be useful.
Going to these meetings usually costs a bit of money, but more importantly to time poor entrepreneurs and grinders, it costs us our time.
So how do we make the most of the investment?
It really is pretty simple, all it needs is to be genuinely interested in others, genuinely prepared to help, without necessarily asking for anything in return. This builds trust, and trust is reciprocated.
However, there are some simple things you can do to communicate your value without having to blab it.
Eye contact.
Maintaining eye contact signals sincerity and warmth, weather you are speaking to an individual, or a group. Either way, maintain eye contact. When speaking to more than one, do not just gaze off into the ether, maintain eye contact with individuals in the audience, move it around, to engage with numbers. Few things annoy me more than meeting someone who is then looking over my shoulder for someone more interesting
Use their name.
Using someones name generates some level of intimacy, especially when we have just met. We are all told that we should repeat back the name of someone to whom we have just been introduced, but many of us do not, so the name goes as we are introduced to the next person. Do whatever is necessary for you to remember peoples names and fall back on the old excuse of ‘I am hopeless with names‘ as sparingly as possible, as it communicates ‘you are not worth knowing‘
Listen actively.
This really just means you give your full attention to the other person when they are speaking. Listen to them, repeat back what they have said as confirmation and perhaps clarification, and ask relevant questions that demonstrates you have been listening thoughtfully, giving their ideas and words your full attention.
Know who you are talking to.
Often this may not be possible, but if you can, know a bit about the person you are talking to by doing a bit of research beforehand. This enables you to ask questions, and make observations to those you meet that will tweak the emotions and motivations of their favourite person, themselves. Often this is impossible, but these days using LinkedIn and the various notifications sent around of who is attending, enables some level of research to be done prior to the meeting. This research always pays off.
Mirroring.
Body language 101 teaches us that people who are interested tend to mirror in very automatic and subtle ways, the mannerisms and body language of those we are communicating with. There is considerable research that demonstrates conclusively this is not just learned behaviour, but an evolutionary biological process that enables us to distinguish between friends and enemies. It is not creepy to set out to reflect body language, it is simply empathising.
Be respectful and grateful.
When someone has given you their time and attention, be grateful, and respectful for both. When you communicate that sense of gratitude, most recipients will return the favour in spades. Wandering through the chairman’s lounge in an airport nearly 20 years ago, I walked past Pat Rafter, at the height of his career, just sitting by himself. By chance, I caught his eye, slowed down without any intention of stopping, and thanked him for the pleasure he had given me watching him play over many years. He responded by inviting me to sit, and we had a terrific conversation for 20 minutes until the flight was called. He would not remember, but I do!
Follow up.
This is so obvious it is often missed. Following up a casual meeting at a network group is the first step to be taken in the building of a relationship that might deliver a transaction at some point. It is also the case that those you meet are often a window into their networks, so even if they are not in your ‘ideal customer’ profile, it is fairly certain that they know someone who is.
Do not expect an immediate return.
Business is still largely done between people, despite the B2B label much of it goes by. As people, we prefer to do business with those we know, like and trust, and that implies a relationship into which some investment of time, energy and sometimes a lot of caffeine has been made.
Despite all the digital tools, there is nothing like looking into the whites of someones eyes to decide if you want to have more to do with them or not.
Photo credit: Andre Luis via Flikr
