The current clown-party in Canberra brings tears of frustration one moment, scorn and anger the next, followed by an overwhelming sense of incredulity.
This was posted early Friday morning August 24th, and by the time you read it, well, anything could have happened.
The one thing that I am sure will not have happened is that common sense will suddenly rain down on the Liberal party. Therefore, they may have persuaded Fraser Anning to swap parties, again, with the promise of the Immigration portfolio in a reborn Abbott government.
Perhaps drawing a bit of a long bow, even for the clowns.
Arguably the most successful leader of the last 30 years on the planet is Jeff Bezos.
He has built Amazon from nothing to its current market valuation of $US1904 billion.
By contrast, Australia’s GDP was $US1323 billion in 2017.
In other words, Amazon, one company, is 44% bigger than the whole Australian economy. I know it is a bad case of comparing apples and oranges, but nevertheless, perhaps we can learn something from the leadership displayed by Bezos and apply it to the clowns.
Amazon is the creation of one man, so his views on what constitutes leadership should not be dismissed lightly.
Every new employee is given the list of Amazon leadership principles as a part of their induction, principles that it seems Bezos is deadly serious about upholding.
I thought it might be amusing to apply them to the Federal parliamentarians generally, just to see how they stack up. I have given them a mark out of 10, with some commentary. Feel free to disagree as loudly as you wish.
Customer Obsession. We the voters are their customers, as well as their employers, and I see little evidence of real obsession on delivering value to us. In its place, I see a huge dose of flatulent cliché. 1/10.
Ownership. The essence of this is long term thinking, and not being prepared to sacrifice the long term outcomes for short term results. Long term to the clowns is what they are doing after lunch. 1/10
Invent and simplify. My sides are hurting from laughter. 2/10. (they got the extra point because at least I was amused)
Are right, a lot. They seem to be rarely right, although to be fair, there has been over time some level of good guessing. 3/10.
Learn and be curious. If ever there was evidence that the clowns cannot learn it is the current clown party. Only the clowns think that the electorate will look kindly on the after party mess. 0/10
Hire and develop the best. Some of those preselected by the various parties should not hold office in the local choir. Not because they cannot sing, but because they are too stupid to realise that is what they are there for. Again, to be fair, quite a lot of them have demonstrated a modest IQ, sufficient to get them through a law degree. Enough said. 2/10.
Insist on the highest standards. I am conflicted with this one, as the standards of stupidity, narcissism, self-delusion, egotistical self-aggrandisement, and the ability to avoid answering any simple question with a simple answer have rarely been equalled. Clearly very high standards indeed, but not what Amazon looks for in leaders. 0/10
Think Big. They often seem to talk big, but the talking seems to be rarely matched by the thinking. However, again to be fair, there has been some evidence of thought, such as thinking the public would not notice their party. 2/10
Bias for action. If this lot were any slower, yesterday would catch up. 1/10
Frugality. They preach frugality, and are fairly successful in imposing it, on most of us who are not their mates, or able to demonstrate some important vested interest to be protected. It also seems they are able to become less frugal at the slightest whiff of electoral discomfort, when they selectively bring out the porkers. 1/10 for effort.
Earn Trust. How do I give a negative mark in this silly poll? 0/10
Dive Deep. Bezos wants the leaders in Amazon to be prepared to do anything, to get down in the weeds with their teams and stay connected. Perhaps the clowns just misunderstood and thought he meant our pockets. 5/10 for misdirected effort.
Have backbone; Disagree and Commit. I suspect Paul Keating said it best referring to (I think) John Hewson when he said ‘he is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up’. 1/10
Deliver results. It is hard to disagree with results, and Australia has had some truly good results over the last 20 years in comparison with most of the rest of the world. Some credit must be given, although the cynic in me wonders how much was sheer luck, and how good could it have been. 5/10.
Overall, the clowns should be proud, they have excelled at being clowns, although I suspect a few of them are really crying inside this morning.
Update 3.00 pm Aug. 24.
Can somebody please explain to me what just happened.
The Pratfall (the collective noun for a group of clowns, and very appropriate as well) in Canberra just rolled an elected PM, and we all know where that leads. To add to the burden of stupidity, they replaced him as PM with the architect of the now failed company tax changes, and as his deputy, the architect of the NEG, the stone upon which the former PM finally stumbled. While it may be a more likely outcome than Senator Anning becoming the Minister for Immigration, it is a close margin!
The next election will be an absolute rout. Mr. Shorten must be on his knees either thanking whoever he prays to, or splitting his sides laughing, perhaps both! Come May next year he will be leading in the next Pratfall.
