This automatic, unrecognised assumption can be a barrier, and at its worst, a curse.
Participating in a conversation a while ago where I was the outsider amongst a group of Canberra bureaucrats, their verbal shorthand, particularly around the departmental names and programs was incomprehensible to me. The terminology was perfectly well understood by all of them, and they were surprised at my ignorance, when I pulled them up and pointed it out.
Try a little experiment.
Tap out a song, like happy birthday, with a pencil on a desk, and have people tell you what it is. We expect most to be able to pick it, the tune is obvious to us, singing it in our minds as we do it, but only a few actually pick it.
Of course, this closed communication loop is used all the time as a badge of membership, and a means of exclusion.
It may be that the group I was talking to were expressing their status as insiders by excluding me, but assuming this is not the intent, it was nevertheless the effect.
Every group has its own set of verbal and behavioral tools. These can be used as an offensive weapon, a means of exclusion, or they can be a tool of inclusion, it just depends on how you use it.
Header cartoon credit: Scott Adams and his mate Dilbert.
